TY  - BOOK
AU  - Silverman,Phyllis R.
AU  - Kelly,Madelyn
TI  - A parent's guide to raising grieving children: rebuilding your family after the death of a loved one 
SN  - 9780195328844 (pbk. : alk. paper)
AV  - BF723.G75 S55 2009
U1  - 155.9/37083 22
PY  - 2009///
CY  - Oxford, New York
PB  - Oxford University Press
KW  - Grief in children
KW  - Bereavement in children
KW  - Parenting
KW  - Child rearing
KW  - Attitude to Death
KW  - Popular Works
KW  - Grief
KW  - Bereavement
KW  - Death
KW  - Child
KW  - Adolescent
N1  - Includes index; Road map for a long journey. You don't have to do this alone ; Why we wrote this book ; How to read this book ; Some words of advice -- What death means to children. Age matters ; Preschool-age children : a limited concept of death ; Elementary school-age children : a growing understanding of death ; The teenage years : a fuller comprehension -- Someone I love is dying. Getting bad news ; How to get help ; My spouse is dying : anticipating living as a single parent ; My child is dying : anticipating an altered family -- Someone I love has died. The finality of death : the door is closed ; How children react ; Staggering through ; Making decisions ; Rites and rituals -- After a parent's death : a world upside down. Losing your past, present, and future ; What your children have lost ; Different ways of showing grief ; Lives reexamined ; Redesigning the role of parent ; Going back to school ; Felings and what to do with them ; Falling apart, and coming together ; Be patient with yourself and with your children -- After a child's death : a family disrupted. The parent's view : coping with your own loss ; Two parents, and at least two ways of grieving ; Other people do not always help ; Parenting your other children ; The child's view : what it means to lose a sibling ; Friends and bullies ; Collapse of their world : a lost way of life ; The lost world ; A new outlook, for you and your children -- After a friend's death : invisible mourners. Death and funerals ; Trying to make sense of it all ; Constructing a relationship with the person who died -- Help of all kinds. The early period after the death ; Finding help at school ; Help with financial and legal issues ; Tme moves forward, but help is still needed ; Individual counseling for children and adults ; Bereavement groups for children and adults ; Not all help is helpful ; A reordered universe -- Continuing bonds. What happens after death : faith, dreams, visions, and visits ; Connections over time -- Looking back, looking ahead. The new world ; Dating and remarriage ; The child's path
N2  - When children lose someone they love, they lose part of their very identity. Life, as they knew it, will never be quite the same. The world that once felt dependable and safe may suddenly seem a frightening, uncertain place, where nobody understands what they're feeling.

In this deeply sympathetic book, Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn Kelly offer wise guidance on virtually every aspect of childhood loss, from living with someone who's dying to preparing the funeral; from explaining death to a two year old to managing the moods of a grieving teenager; from dealing with people who don't understand to learning how and where to get help from friends, therapists, and bereavement groups; from developing a new sense of self to continuing a relationship with the person who died. Throughout, the authors advocate an open, honest approach, suggesting that our instinctive desire to "protect" children from the reality of death may be more harmful than helpful. "Children want you to acknowledge what is happening, to help them understand it," the authors suggest. "In this way, they learn to trust their own ability to make sense out of what they see." Drawing on groundbreaking research into what bereaved children are really experiencing, and quoting real conversations with parents and children who have walked that road, the book allows readers to see what others have learned from mourning and surviving the death of a loved one. In a culture where grief is so often invisible and misunderstood, the wisdom derived from such first-hand experience is invaluable. 

Filled with compassion and common sense, A Parent's Guide to Raising Grieving Children: Rebuilding Your Family after the Loss of a Loved One offers readers a wealth of solace and sound advice, and even--where one might least expect it--a measure of hope
ER  -